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To a nerd like me, it was vindication that my inability to score a goal in gym can be spun into a strength.There was nothing I wanted more than to have a robot life in this world that didn’t favour my awkward genes.That song, with its upbeat yet brooding tone and melodramatic cadence, would eventually flip a switch and set off a tiny nuclear bomb in my little ginger heart.Gwen Stefani is the reason I soured on love in the age of the Internet, and she is responsible for the metaphorical radiation burns all over my internal organs.This became so important to me that I actively policed my own ‘no chatting out of character’ rule, attacking and attempting to virtually kill users who meerly wanted to talk about Star Wars instead of aggressively participate in the world of Star Wars.My delusions of grandeur reached their logical conclusion one day when one chatter came on and, in a cry for help, asked for everyone online for reasons not to kill himself.But of course, we don’t get to choose which songs are important for us, for that is the realm of the gods.One expects a catchy radio single by a ska-punk band to crucially mould them no more than a common Greek warrior expects to be transformed into a beast or a tree, even though it happens every time.
It was a slow Internet, one that required the forfeit of real time conversation over the phone in favor of a form of written correspondence more akin to mail or a telegraph.
I could pretend to be a cheetah or a wasp without having to sacrifice my standard cyborg fantasy weapon loadout (wrist mounted rockets, laser eyes, a flying apparatus).
In the imaginary schoolyard battlefield, children would run around making “pew pew” noises over the sound of their whooshing slush pants.
As a morally undeveloped nine year old boy with a glow in the dark retainer (aka: nothing to lose), discovering Internet anonymity was a revelation.
I might not have understood the implications of lying online yet, but it was clear as my recently puffered airways that chat rooms gave me a rare opportunity to be perfect.
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“Don’t Speak” is so foundational in the development of the part of me that can cry because it hit me at the right moment.