Dating a goody two shoes

By nature, she was actually a high-spirited and willful child, so blind “obedience to authority” was something she had to painstakingly cultivate.Sensitive and ever-aware of all the little things that could trigger her parents’ disapproval, she tried as hard as possible to avoid their frequent (and stinging) criticisms.

Growing up in a dogmatic household, in which she was also homeschooled—further extending her parents’ control over her development—Margaret, who was quite precocious, readily picked up on all the subtle cues and clues of which behaviors could lead to a spanking—and compromise her parents’ seemingly tenuous acceptance of her.Instead, they grow into an abnormally cultivated, outwardly virtuous, false self, while yet being plagued by nagging doubts about how good they they are.As a practicing psychologist, I’ve observed this phenomenon many times, especially with people-pleasers and so-called “goody two-shoes.” These are individuals who feel frustrated with themselves and with life in general, and are depressingly unfulfilled.Without realizing just they’re not very happy (for superficially, their lives may be going reasonably well), in virtually every instance they haven’t addressed—or even been aware of—their core wants and needs.Rather, they’re living the life that’s been “preordained” for them, regardless of its doing almost nothing for them.

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